My dear Lyell

I am very very sorry to trouble you, busy as you are, in so merely personal an affair. But if you will give me your deliberate opinion, you will do me as greata service, as ever man did, for I have entire confidence in your judgment & honour.—

I sh^d. not have sent off your letter without further reflexion, for I am at present quite upset, but write now to get subject for time out of mind. But I confess it never did occur to me, as it ought, that Wallace could have made any use of your letter.²

There is nothing in Wallace’s sketch which is not written out much fuller in my sketch copied in 1844, & read by Hooker some dozen years ago.³ About a year ago I sent a short sketch of which I have copy of my views (owing to correspondence on several points) to Asa Gray, so that I could most truly say & prove that I take nothing from Wallace.⁴ I sh^d. be extremely glad now to publish a sketch of my general views in about a dozen pages or so. But I cannot persuade myself that I can do so honourably. Wallace says nothing about publication, & I enclose his letter.— But as I had not intended to publish any sketch,⁵ can I do so honourably because Wallace has sent me an outline of his doctrine?— I would far rather burn my whole book than that he or any man sh^d. think that I had behaved in a paltry spirit. Do you not think his having sent me this sketch ties my hands? I do not in least believe that that he originated his views from anything which I wrote to him.

If I could honourably publish I would state that I was induced now to publish a sketch (& I sh^d be very glad to be permitted to say to follow your advice long ago given)⁶ from Wallace having sent me an outline of my general conclusions.— We differ only, that I was led to my views from what artificial selection has done for domestic animals. I could send Wallace a copy of my letter to Asa Gray to show him that I had not stolen his doctrine. But I cannot tell whether to publish now would not be base & paltry: this was my first impression, & I sh^d. have certainly acted on it, had it not been for your letter.—⁷

This is a trumpery affair to trouble you with; but you cannot tell how much obliged I sh^d. be for your advice.—

By the way would you object to send this & your answer to Hooker to be forwarded to me, for then I shall have the opinion of my two best & kindest friends.—⁸ This letter is miserably written & I write it now, that I may for time banish whole subject. And I am worn out with musing.

I fear we have case of scarlet-fever in House with Baby.—⁹ Etty is weak but is recovering.—

My good dear friend forgive me.— This is a trumpery letter influenced by trumpery feelings.

Yours most truly | C. Darwin

I will never trouble you or Hooker on this subject again.—