My dear Hooker

I am much pained to think of poor dear Henslow’s state.¹ I will write again this evening on indifferent subjects.² I write now only to say that if Henslow, you thought, would really like to see me, I would of course start at once. The thought had once occurred to me to offer, & the sole reason why I did not was that the journey with the agitation would cause me probably to arrive utterly prostrated.

I sh^d. be certain to have severe vomiting afterwards, but that would not much signify, but I doubt whether I could stand the agitation at the time. I never felt my weakness a greater evil. I have just had specimen for I spoke a few minutes at Linn. Soc on Thursday & though extra well, it brought on 24 hours vomiting.³ I suppose there is some Inn at which I could stay, for I sh^d not like to be in the House (even if you could hold me) as my retching is apt to be extremely loud.—

I sh^d. never forgive myself, if I did not instantly come, if Henslow’s wish to see me was more than a passing thought.

My dear old friend | Your affect | C. Darwin

P.S. Judge for me: I have stated exact truth: but remember that I sh^d. never forgive myself, if I disappointed the most fleeting wish of my master & friend to whom I owe so much.—