Discusses CD's religious doubts. Fears his work may lead him to discount what cannot be proved, and advises that there are some things which, "if true are likely to be above our comprehension" and "that there is a danger in giving up revelation".
The state of mind that I wish to preserve with respect to you, is to feel that while you are acting conscientiously & sincerely wishing, & trying to learn the truth, you cannot be wrong; but there are some reasons that force themselves upon me & prevent my being always able to give myself this comfort. I dare say you have often thought of them before, but I will write down what has been in my head, knowing that my own dearest will indulge me. Your mind & time are full of the most interesting subjects & thoughts of the most absorbing kind, viz following up yr own discoveries—but which make it very difficult for you to avoid casting out as interruptions other sorts of thoughts which have no relation to what you are pursuing or to to be able to give your whole attention to both sides of the question.
There is another reason which would have a great effect on a woman, but I
don't know whether it w
I am rather afraid my own dear Nigger will think I have forgotten my promise not to bother him, but I am sure he loves me & I cannot tell him how happy he makes me & how dearly I love him & thank him for all his affection which makes the happiness of my life more & more every day.
- f1 471.f1In the manuscript version of the Autobiography,‘Recollections of the Development of my mind & character’ (DAR 26: 74), CD added in pencil at the end of a passage about Emma: ‘(Mem: her beautiful letter to me, safely preserved, shortly after our marriage.)’
- f2 471.f2Meaning that CD's brother Erasmus had preceded him in doubt about religion.